T.J.'s Camper of the Week
Week #7's Camper of the Week:
Tony Cina
Height: 6'2 1/2" Weight: 254 lbs Position: Center/Forward
Max Bench Press: The Yellow Team
TJ: First of all Money, I'd like to congradulate you on winnging week 7's Camper of the Week award. But lets get serious and start by putting it all out on the table. You’re an absolute monster on and off the court…JUST how much HGH did you have for breakfast this morning?
Tony: Yes this is quite true. My mom usually puts a couple teaspoons in my oatmeal. Sometimes she doesnt even tell me.
[Tony who is now laughing during the interview...stops laughing. His face turns serious and he looks a little upset]
Tony: I didnt find out she was doing it till I was about 14. However, we still maintain a loving relationship. Not to mention I look fucking phenomenal. Sorry to get so sappy on you but your the one who brought up the touchy subject. How would you feel if someone put HGH or maybe even semen in your meal of breakfast? Maybe you should look back at yourself and say how can I maybe open up this interview with a little less arrogance and hostitlity?
TJ: umm with all do respect Tony, I'm not exactly sure what that last sentence means?.
Tony: sorry it was a quote...FROM A BOOK....next question...
TJ: Must have been a very short book...
[Tony smiles awkwardly, laughs, then shoves about 8 spoonfulls of oatmeal in his mouth in about 3 seconds.]
TJ: Black Team is coming off a very tough double overtime loss to the first place Red Team. How does your team look to rebound against a tough yellow team, who by the way is coming off a huge win against a Blue powerhouse team.
Tony: Rebounding is what I do. I love how you have that word in the question. After all I am the league leader in that category. Yes that loss was tough in double OT. But for some reason we were not given a halftime. Pretty sure that in the rule book we were supposed to be given a chance to hydrate. Russ however was not having a good day...as i'm sure you know T.J., and my team was out of gas. By the second OT I couldnt even feel my penis. I'm sure in this weeks game against Yellow, my team and I will have plenty of chance to get hydrated. My prediction: We lose and Ben Ford scores 33....
TJ: Now for the tough question... Randy, Kameese, Jay Brazer...Marry one, screw one, kill one....explain your answers. |  |
Tony: That is a wonderful question. I actually wrote down some answers and brought em along in case you asked me this exact question.
Answers: I would kill kameese. First I would tie him to a chair tickle the shit out of him then slit his throat. Hes a good kid, just a little to old. He'd always be causing generational gaps by makin jokes about the early 90's that I just wouldn't get.
I would screw Brazer because hes probably an easy lay (from what I have heard). And everyone knows that I like em' a little chubby ;). His laugh really brightens a room...and my penis JUST KIDDING! but seriously.
I would love to marry Randy because he is the commish and is loaded. I would be the best wife, or husband (depends on what role we are playing that particular night). We could go on vacations to some tropical island and just talk about how many kids we will have and who will give birth to them. I wouldnt mind being pregnant. Im sure our babies would look like a mix ofvEnrique Iglesias and Tom Arnold. Not to sound gay or anything but I have tossed around this idea in my head for over 2 years.....ok next question I've said to much and now I'm starting to get hot...
TJ: What is your greatest athletic achievement?
Tony: Well my greatest athletic achievement was when you gave me your #88 football jersey to wear for my senior year.
TJ: Wow thats really nice of you Tony I...
Tony: Not because you wore it idiot. Because Sean Conover did and he plays in the NFL. You work at UNOs. Loser.
TJ: Any tips for any of the little people out there that wanna be big and strong like Big T Money?
Tony: Eat alot of oatmeal and do a shit ton of steriods or any drugs off the black market. Seriously, you'll get huge. MWAH!
